Khas untuk Cleo Weiland and Zharif... you guys asked for this review so I made it.
p/s : Well, you know, we just don't know that much about her, I mean... for all we know the, the family she stayed with could've been like, "Pass the fuckin' potatoes" at dinnertime
Kamu pasti perasan aku suka eja melayu sebagai MELEIS. Ini bukan sesuatu yang tidak disengajakan. Aku nak propose that mulai hari ni semua jenis sub spesis melayu yang macam babi/haram/palat/pukimak/tungkik/bau speng/izumen/sham pong dil dan laimang kita panggil sebagai Meleis.
Apakah subgenre Melayu babi/haram/palat/pukimak/tungkik/bau speng/izumen/sham pong dil dan laimang yang ada sekarang?
1. Mat Rempit. 2. Minah Melayu buang baby. 3. Melayu perogol anak. 4. Melayu kaki nombor. 5. Parents Melayu smoke depan anak yang masih baby. 6. Melayu bising dalam wayang macam tengok VCD dalam bilik. 7. Melayu pakai tudung tapi buat 3GP. 8. Melayu kaki ragut.
Dan sebagainya. Kalau kamu ada list lain sila tinggalkan di komen seksyen. Boleh aku add dan sama-sama di-MELEIS-kan.
KENAPA KITA PERLUKAN TERMINOLOGI BARU?
As we know sebagai seorang Melayu kita ada terminologi tak enak untuk kaum lain. Kenapa kita tak boleh wujudkan terminologi baru untuk bangsa sendiri? I mean kita sedap-sedap je panggil cina tongkang, cina babi, cina bukit dan cina totok. Tak kurang juga gelaran kurang manis india busuk, india paria dan keling. Kalau kat US pulak mat salleh yang useless diorang gelarkan sebagai rednecks. It’s about time kita wujudkan sendiri terminologi tersendiri sebelum ianya direka oleh kaum lain. HAHAHA. Better create your own man. At least we would still have some control on how to be racially abused! HAHAHAHA!
Macam skang ni kalau ada je cerita Melayu buat hal dalam surat khabar kita automatically kata “ni mesti melayu rempit punya keje”. Aku rasa tak adil semuanya kita salahkan kepada rempit. Seperti yang kita sedia maklum rempit ialah gelaran khas untuk mat-mat motor pelesit. Kalau melayu bawak Proton Saga spoiler sebesar meja kedai kopi pun kita lebel rempit macam tak kena pulakkan?
MANA AKU DAPAT IDEA?
Aku teringat skit Chris Rock. Watch this clip ;
And I quote;
“There is a civil war between black people and there is two sides. There’s black people and there’s niggers. The niggers have got to go! Every time black people wanna have fun ign’rant ass niggers fuck it up!”
Aku agree dengan dia. Dari orang kata;
“Babi melayu..perangai macam gampang”
Baik kita dengar orang maki;
“Babi meleis...perangai macam gampang”
Jika kamu bukan seorang MELEIS kamu takkan offended. Macam skang bila kamu pergi youtube dan terbaca orang komen;
“Fuck Malays they lazy tongkat fuckers”
Kamu akan jadi panas..Dalam hati rasa macam nak track IP address mamat tu dan lepas tu sumbat labu sayong dalam anus dia. Kalau kita ada Meleis kita boleh distance ourselves from them because you are not a Melei. Kalau ada racist maki;
“Fuck Meleis..... the lazy tongkat fuckers”
Aku takkan offended langung coz I am not a Melei.
KENAPA EJAAN MELEIS
Asalnya dari perkataan MALAISE dalam bahasa inggeris. Memang seswai sangat lah jadi MELEIS pasal perkataan MALAISE tu memang bermakna masalah yang teruk. Alang-alang kita dah banyak guna bahasa inggeris dalam bahasa melayu curik aje la Malaise. Apa salahnya kan?
So from now on marilah kita panggil semua sub spesis melayu yang macam babi/haram/palat/pukimak/tungkik/bau speng/izumen/sham pong dil dan laimang sebegai Meleis. Let them be the niggers of our race. Let them fucking die in their ignorance and stupidity.
Sekian terima kasih.
Marilah jadi Melayu. Jangan jadi Meleis.
p/s : Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies
Dah tengok video ni? Video terhangat di malaysia sekarang. Lagi hangat dari video Lingam or sejadah terbang. Yes Namawee raging gila babi dalam ni. kalau dia raging lagi 6 minit aku rasa dia boleh dapat aneurysm dan terus koma akibat pendarahan otak. Tapi aku rasa dia salah. Kalau raging macam ni apa pun tak jalan. Macam ex housemate aku. Dia raging dengan landlord dan TMNET all the time. Cara dia approach masalah tu tidak betul. Like all humans sometimes kena holistik sikit. Cari good side and try to get them to understand your problem. Maki-maki macam ni gets you nowhere. At least this kind of approach works for me so far! Aku memang terkenal sebagai seorang sweetalker dan by using my verbal skills aku boleh buat orang simpati dengan my bullshit. Nak ngorat awek pun aku pandai tapi sejak ada Mrs Weiland aku tak guna dah untuk aktiviti menggatal. Love you Cleo!
Sila baca reply seorang pekerja TNB sebagai reply kepada video Namawee ini. It's in english pasal Namawee tak tahu cakap BM. LOL! So Namawee.. Sila baca komen orang TNB ini ok. Lu marah-marah pun lu talak ensom mah. Still nampak macam tenuk. Kalau lu cool lu mesti lagi hensem dari Fat Joe mah. So chill down la. Lu apahat malah-malah selalu. Masa lu kecik lu tak cukup hisap tetek mama lu ke? KEKEKEKE
Aku curik komen ini dari blog Hazrey pasal aku rasa penjelasan dari pihak TNB harus kita dengari juga. Kat area aku kalau ada breakdown insyallah within one hour dia restore. So aku tau mmg TNB Kepong terbaek. Pantas dan gigih. Tak elok rasanya kerana insiden MUAR TNB semua kena tapau sama rata.
By the way akuedit sedikit English dia so that tak sakit otak dan add some LULZ for the win. Ok Hazrey. Aku ambik dari kamu. Hope you don't mind. Aku akan linkback as per usual.
Jawapan Dari Maintainance Manager mengenai isu Nameewee.. dipetik dr forum Cari.com
First of all, I would like to introduce myself, I am a Maintenance Manager from TNB. I have been working for TNB for the past 10 years and I have to say that the situation presented in the video couldn't be further from the truth!
First of all you have to understand the nature of the electrical supply system in Malaysia.TNB only deals with customers in 3 occasions:
1. Customer request for supply, when you have to fill up the forms, 2. Customer pay the bill at counter, Q&A etc.. 3. Customer experience supply interruption and called our helpline for supply restoration
In this incidence, Namewee was experiencing the 3rd condition; the electric supply interruption caused by a breakdown. This kind of interruption may be attributed to the following reasons:
i. Third party excavation, could be due to developer while installing the box culvert, could be due to utilities companies excavated power cables during their cable/pipe installation.
ii. Sabotage/Vandalism by "an hero" who dared to cut live cables which caries around 11,000Volts. This usually resulted in a trip to the fail safe system. In Malay we call this "pencurik cable". If you watched enough 999 you might saw a few people fried to death while attempting cable theft at the substation.
iii. Force majore such as thunder storms and floods. In these instances the electrical supply has to be cut off for safety reasons.
What you can see in this Youtube clip are:
Namewee 'Intentionality" created havoc in TNB Muar.He wanted to scold and teach TNB the guys a lesson(before leaving his house).
He said after he came back to Malaysia he experienced 3 power outages. BUT when dealing with the TNB officer he said "MANY Times". The motive here is very clear. It's to agitate the people by taking a good shot. All in all he is just doing some IRL Trolling.
Even though the officer had explain to him that this was a BREAKDOWN, he still insist on seeing a notification letter. He also insisted on seing the superior on duty at 10:10pm.
The rest of the video was filled with cursing, vulgar words, and very uncivilised hand gestures. Being rapper I think flinging hand gesture are considered fucking bad ass. Namawee is actually just a no talent CHIGGA with man tits issues.
What you probably didn't see while this faggotry was going on;
1. What are the people doing in the lorry, why are they working at 10:10pm?
Ans= These are the people that assist in the restoration of power supply during the event of a breakdown. Energy Commission standard for restoration time is about 4 hours for Medium Voltage Tripping (below 66KV).
2. Why the officer 'Kecil' working 10:10pm in the office & with his colleagues?
Ans: He is not there to eat the banana and minum kopi, he is the technician who monitor the system and get the outage ticket from Call Management Center (CMC) ~15454 and dispatches the repair work to the fault finder team. As far as I know there are no other companies in Malaysia that can provide 24hrs service. TMNET despite being a major telco only opens their help line until 10PM. Tenaga Nasional people in the other hand will go to your house at 3am if you call them at 15454. If you experience blackout in your area , please do not call 06-9532951(this is the number that hare brained Namawee called ) this is an office no. No point on calling that number 10 times as it is not the right number to file a power outage report.
As a university graduate one would think that he would figure this out simply by using simple logic. If you have problem with your Streamyx you won't go and call the office of your nearest TMNET office wouldn't you? Instead you dial 1-300-88-1515 to file an official complain and then you will be issued a report number for your own reference.
We, TNB, are dedicated to "Keeps the Light On" in your house.
3. Why TNB office has electrical supply but no Namewee's house?
Ans: If Namewee stay within the vicinity of TNB Muar, perhaps this video will not appear as he won't be experiencing power interruption. In the real world all substations are linked to each other and these substations would supply the electricity to the respective housing areas. Since he can be seen riding a bike, I assume that the TNB office is not in the same housing area and thus serviced by a different substation. Like in all breakdowns it takes time to restore disruption. Asking for an immediate restoration of power supply is not only unrealistic but laughable. I hope this would shed some light to the issue highlighted in this video.
Too bad the TNB workers in this video does not own a Youtube account and couldn't let you guys hear their side of the story. As we all know when presented with something always try to get both side of the story before coming up with an opinion. What rational Malaysian would form an opinion from just one side?
Ah yes. Komputer aku dah hidup. Dah boleh main minesweeper dan solitaire dengan gembiranya. Takde lagi annoying lines. But to get to this happy situation aku kena went through some real bullshit. Ini ialah list benda yang jengkel bila kena beli grafik kad baru, Bagi orang yang bukan computer nerd jangan risau. At the end of each entry aku akan bagi analogy non computer so korang paham.
Kalau kita beli kereta kita tahu yang model itu baru atau tidak dari namanya. For example kita ada Honda Civic 2009 or Honda Civic 2008. Dari penamaan yang simple macam ni, it does not take a genius to guess which Honda Civic is the latest one.
Sadly bila beli grafik kad ini tak semestinya betul. Take for example grafik kad dari ATI. Lima tahun lepas depa ada keluarkan kad dalam siri 9000. This line of card was called the ATI Radeon 9000 series. Ok this is cool since before this depa keluarkan 8000 series. Logical naming convention applies. Then suddenly dalam tahun 2008 depa keluarkan the 4000 series. What the fuck? Untuk “tidak mengconfusekan” they called this line the ATI Radeon HD 4000 series. Yep put a HD there to “unconfusekan” consumer. Kenapa depa buat macam ni? Pasal rival diorang NVIDIA keluarkan 9000 series jugak which they then branded as Nvidia Geforce 9000 series. Kalau pergi kedai korang boleh jumpa Gefore 9600 GT. At the same time kalau pergi kedai old school boleh jumpa Radeon 9600 XT. Kepada si buta IT depa mungkin tak tahu apa bezanya dua kad ni. In the end taukeh kedai boleh tipu. Jual Radeon 9600 XT yang dah outdated dengan harga Gefore 9600 GT. Where is the logic guys? To compound the bullshit Nvidia’s latest graphic card line is called the 200 GT series. Come on man. Let’s get logical for once
ANALOGI BAGI SI BUTA IT
Kamu beli Proton Wira 2008 lepas tu next year Proton keluarkan Proton MYVI 200 manakala Perodua keluarkan Perodua Wira 400 GTX. Nama main tukar-tukar sesama company sampai consumer pun pening.
Let’s do a quiz shall we. Lets say aku bagi kamu dua option. Grafik Kad 1 keluar pada Jun 2008. Grafik kad kedua keluar Oktober 2009. Kalau ikut logic akal mesti grafik kad baru lagi kick ass kan? Well not in graphic card world it ain’t. Radeon HD 5770 tak sebagus Radeon HD4870 despite it being a year older. Bila nak beli GC korang kena survey benchmark terlebih dahulu to figure out which card is better. Weirder still, higher processor clock speed pun tak semestinya bermakna GC tu akan lebih bagus. Amacam? Mind fuck tak? It just boggles the mind.
ANALOGI BAGI SI BUTA IT
Performance Perodua MYVI 2009 lebih shit dari MYVI 2008. Top speed versi 2009 kurang 30 KM/H dari 2008. How is that even logical?
Ok now this is the most mind boggling of them all. Aku beli Radeon 4870 Vapor X keluaran Sapphire. Pada masa yang sama Powercolor , HiS dan Gigabyte pun ada keluarkan 4870 versi diorang. One would think that since they all use the same chipset they must all have equal performance. WRONG! It seems that different manufacturers tweaked their card a bit different from one another. Tapi why do that? Why do some companies insist on selling their inferior product to the consumers? Kalau kad kamu suck ass dari the competition baik jangan jual. Bagi consumer pening kepala je nak figure out which one is slightly better than the other.Macam bodoh je. Nak tambah rage sometimes the inferior product punya harga lagi mahal. Bertambah-tambah la raging pasal I think kita semua dah wired to the fact that lagi mahal something always equal better performance and built quality.
ANALOGI BAGI SI BUTA IT
Macam Hyundai, Proton , Daihatsu and Perodua semua buat Exora tapi Daihatsu punya paling best despite using the exact same engine,chasis and interiors. Kenapa Daihatsu punya lagi bagus? Ntah? I dunno. Maybe they put extra sos dalam tangki minyak or something. In the end it is still bullshit.
Aku beli GC aku dekat Low Yat. Sebab utamanya pasal bila aku usha harga kat tempat lain taukeh kedai letak harga yang tak masuk akal untuk barang jualan derang. Aku beli grafik kad aku dekat Low Yat dengan harga RM520. Aku ada usha kad yang downgrade sikit dekat Sunway Piramid IT Center depa nak tolak kat aku RM620. Kad yang dijual ada separuh total memory dan pakai stock cooling. Bila usha kedai sebelah dia pulak taukeh nak tolak barang yang sama pada harga RM720. Bila aku kata harga dia outdated by more than a year dia marah pulak
“This card is priced in this way sir. I cannot give you cheaper. The cheapest I can give you is RM700”
the worse ada satu kedai ni
"Taukeh.. ini kad berapa you jual?" "Ini ah....... RM 780" "Tak boleh kurang ke boss" "Sikijap ah"
dia pergi jumpa ketua dia kejap
"Untuk you special price i bagi 700.. sudah murah mah" "tak boleh kurang lagi ke boss?" "Talak boleh mah.. ini I sudah murah habis you tau!" "Tapi apasal I tengok Low Yat harga tak sampai 600 pun" ( aku check paling mahal kat Low Yat 590 je) "Itu machiam ka? Ok la best price for you 610.. terus angkat lah"
Apa speselnya Low Yat sampai harga boleh beratus ringgit lagi murah. Luar pada Low Yat taukeh kedai kena bayar extra tax ke macam beli kereta import dari luar Malaysia? Sejak bila barang komputer ada AP system? Kalau ye pun nak cover overhead takkan sampai 200 lebih dia jack up harga. Harus diingat ini bukan grafik kad yang sama. Yang LOWER VERSION dari apa aku beli dekat Low Yat. Still mahal macam sial.
ANALOGI BAGI SI BUTA IT
Macam beli Perodua MYVI satu di Selangor dan satu lagi di Pahang. Yang dekat Pahang harga dia 30% lagi mahal dari di Selangor.Lepas tu pulak model di Pahang takde side skirt, aluminium sports rim, CD player dan power steering. Camni la kebodohan harga barang kalau beli bukan di Low Yat.
p/s : The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity among German soldiers is simple. As a German enlisted man, he killed thirteen Gestapo officers, mostly Majors. Instead of putting him up against a wall, the High Command decided to send him back to Berlin, to be made an example of. Needless to say, once the Basterds heard of him, he never got there.
Kalau kamu join group Facebook blog ni kamu mesti perasan notis komputer aku mati katak isnin lepas. Kalau tak join lagi asal tak join! LOL Entah kenapa dia mampos pun aku tak tau. The shit part obout dead PC is trying to figure out apa yang rosak. Dalam PC ada a lot of parts so memang jenuh la nak test device satu persatu. Luckily aku adalah seorang angry computer nerd. Aku tau the basics of godek-godek PC. Seperti seorang pathologist aku mula lakukkan autopsy pada komputer yang baru saja mampos.
First of all aku dah memang saspek yang grafik kad aku gol. Before komputer hang dan BSOD, display aku jadi bizarre macam ni. Ada banyak red lines yang annoying.
Ni kalau tak silap aku dipanggil “artefact” dalam PC terminology. It’s an indication that something associated to the graphic card is not working properly. Aku tak pernah overclock kad ni, so bila problem ni jadi aku agak dumbfounded. Selalunya artefact jadi bila kita overclock the GPU. Second suspect for me was the PCI-E slot. This is a rare error but it happened before on my AMD Duron five years back.
So now Dr Obefiend melakukan pembedahan;
Mangsa tidak menunjukkan kesan trauma atau terbakar. Ketika casing dibuka tiada tell tale smell of burnt PCB’s or capacitors. All around it looked pristine with only a dust covering certain parts of the victim. The HDDs looks healthy from the outside. But one would need to do further digging to see if any illicit files are stored inside it. Upon dissecting the graphic card, in this case an aging but still bad ass Nvidia 8800 GTX I noticed no burn marks. The card was quite warm to the touch but this was expected for it idles at 60 degrees and 88 at load. I did notice that there is a small gap between the cooler and the PCB. This might be the cause of the problem. Since the cooler is not properly attached to the PCB the cooling effectiveness drops thar resulted in overheating on the GPU. This is the same problem plaguing the XBOX 360 resulting in those infamous RROD issues..
Later i decided to put the graphic card into the second PCI-E slot. This is to exclude the PCI-E as a suspect in the death of the victim. The PC was switched on and to my horror the monitor display was blank. Oh shit. I switched the graphic card back to the first PCI-E slot and again no joy. Could it be that PCI-E slot is also a suspect?
Testing both PCI-E slots
To confirm this I then asked for assistance from Dr Ponman. Using his PC as a test bed, I tested my 8800 GTX in it. Surprisingly the PC rebooted with no problem. Even the display looks ok! Damn.. was my first diagnosis wrong? Is the PCI-E slot the real culprit here? To confirm this I took his ATI 4850 graphic card and installed it on my motherboard. When the PC was switched on nothing happened. The display is still blank. Damn! It was the PCI-E slot all along!! But this couldn’t be possible. Death by multiple PCI-E slot malfunctions is a rare as death by anal fisting. If this is the case i need a new motherboard and this would suck!
The ATI 4850 vs Nvidia 8800 GTX.. size matters
I then decided to go to bed and do the second autopsy tomorrow.
The next day I decided to redo the whole thing first thing in the morning. Again I borrowed Ponman’s 4850 and switched on my PC. Surprisingly this time around the PC booted up as normal. I then used this opportunity to update the Facebook page. I then installed my 8800GTX into Ponman’s PC. It booted ok but to test my “defective cooler theory” I let Ponman's PC ran for 10 minutes. After the ten minute mark Ponman’s PC hanged. The display became garbled and it promptly BSOD’ed. Ahah! Maybe I was right the first time. It was the graphic card all along. I quickly took out the still hot graphic card and out it into my PC. When it booted up the display looks like this piece of shit. This reminds me of my old Nintendo game called DIG DUG.
By this time teori aku sudah confirmed. Now it's time to look for a replacement. Finding a new GC is as tedious as finding a new car. There is so many options out there and many parameters to consider.
For that story korang kena tunggu esok
“Benda yang menjengkelkan bila kena beli Grafik Kad baru”
Trust me it will be full of fail and rage!!
p/s : Ahhh! BINGO! What fun! But, I digress. Where were we?
Admit it. When you was a kid you hated your parents. To youse they is just no nice. They is like to make you stay at home and do homework, do the car cleaning and wash the shit from the jambans. If you is a gerl you is mad because mahder said you must hep her do the kuking in the kitchen. She said if u no cook no men will mery you. You belip her coz your mother where can lie right? Mahder alwez right and whatever she said is the truth. Then you get older and have bebs you realise that men don’t care if you donno how to cook eggs. All they want is you to cradle their own telur when you make love like in the porno. Its true. But you dowan admit coz you refuse to belip you mahder lied to you ten years ago in the kithchenz. Your mahder is a tool of female disempowerment by forcing you to be domesticated like pet cat right? Now suddenly you becum feministz. Dowan cook. Only know how to cook meggi coz it just bancuh and pusing-pusing the sendok until megi look like pasta right? Its ok. Even i dunno how to cook. I only know how to cook telur and some burger. Its the besh in the werld. Better than Mawi
So aniweiz i wanna talk cock to you about parenting in the new werld.
Ok enough of this retarded shit. Proper spelling is a must for the betterment of 1Malaysia.
As I said in the first paragraph ( if you can read that shit) most kids hated their parents when they became teenagers. Around this age parents are the uncoolest person on earth. They stopped you from listening to rock music and forced you to wear dorky clothes when all you wanted is a pair of Ken Follet slacks from Holiday Plaza. HAHAHA. Ini joke orang Johor Bahru je paham. Kalau kamu bukan orang Johor dan tak paham bole pergi mampos! Pedulik apa aku. HAHAHA. Hidup Johor! Negeri Terbaik. (this is trolling)
So anyway I remember listening to my friends talking about the lameness of their parents. One dude complained that his parents didn’t allow him to wear the more expensive Pallas Jazz school shoes. Instead the parents only bought him BATA 2000 shoes. You know the one with the Velcro strap and “cool reflectors” on the side. Any of you oldfags remember this shoe? I wore them from standard 1 all the way to form 3. Sure I got a lot of stick for wearing a shoe with light reflectors ( iklan BATA siap tunjuk siapa tak pakai kasut ada reflector kena langgar kereta bila jalan malam buta) on them. You know why? I went to a sesi pagi school. So why do I need a “reflectoriffic” pair of school shoes to begin with? I don’t even walk to school. Dad drop me at the front gate in the morning and picked me up during lunch. Yes I was the butt of the jokes at school but at least i got a pair of shoes!
Now the same friends who complained earlier are now married and most of them have kids. When I read their blogs I found a very worrying pattern emerging. Most of them wrote something like this in their blogs;
“Bila anak aku besar aku tak nak kongkong dia. Aku nak jadi parents cool macam karekter Bob Saget dalam Fullhouse or Jasons Seaver dalam The Growing Pains”
“I want to be a friend to my children. I don’t want to be uncool like my dad was to me”
“I was whipped when I was a kid. Now that I have a son I will never hit him. I will only ground him for his misdemeanours”
Ok it’s a free god damn country. You are allowed to do your own version of “holistic” parenting if you feel like it. Thing is why based your parenting on feel good sitcoms from the 80’s. Here is the problem dear modern age meleis parents. Those family sitcoms that you adore and used as a template were not based on reality. It’s a make belief world that by the end of the 30 minute episode all domestic problems can be solved with copious amount of group hugs. The are mere fiction and are not rooted on reality. You really think that an unruly child with a potty mouth can be disciplined by making them sit in the corner for an hour? My mom was brutal. I once called my sister “anjing” because I was pissed off with something I can’t recall. Oh wait now I remember. She broke the arm of my Varitech Macross. I received a good bleting for that. I never call my sister an anjing again. These days I just call her a bitch when I am REALLY pissed off. WAHAHAHA!!
Me and Mrs Weiland butted head over this also. She wanted to be the goody-goody mom type like Martha Stewart. I in the other hand insist on disciplining my future children just like my dad. She said I would be a cruel dad and my children would never love me. The way i see it it’s better to have a child does not love me but is still a functional human than spoilt scumbag with entitlement issues. What’s next Meleis? You want your cool and hip kids to call you by your first name next?
“Hey Ibrahim.. aku nak pergi tengok wayang boleh? Bagi aku RM20 please Ibrahim” “Baiklah anakku.. remember my son wear a condom” “Ok baim.. aku pergi dulu”
Hey you know this is inevitable if you start being friends with your children. Those TV might make it look cool but honestly folks would you really base your life on a TV show?
p/s : We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!
Semalam Halloween. Gua tengok Facebook gua banyak gak kawan meleis pergi parti Halloween. Not bad gak parti Halloween malaysia ek. Sedap cuci mata seh. Ada sorang member gua dress up jadi Gadis Moulin Rouge. Pakai bustier siap dengan kinky panty hose.Bak kata Borat Sagdiyev "WA WAA WEE WAAAAAAAA!!" . Sadly most of the other costumes yang aku nampak dalam album FB dia agak lame shit. Costume semuanya cliche such as jadi pirate , whore, hantu, vampire dan yang paling lamest of the lame jadi Joker. Nota kepada mereka yang dress up sebagai The Joker semalam;
“Why........... soooooooo.. OUDATED??”
This year dekat US diorang gila tengah gila zombies. Dress up jadi kerekter zombie or kerekter game Left4Dead. Tak kreatif. Sorry la bro tapi zombies dan kerekter “Pontianak Senja”(a.k.a Twilight) adalah sungguh lame ass. Go die please. By the way since kita duduk Malaysia kenapa nak dress up sebagai karakter popular culture dari barat. Kenapa takleh come out dengan idea costume Halloween versi 1Malaysia? Banyak apa ideas yang boleh korang pakai? So hari ni aku bagi korang idea best untuk Halloween next year. Thank me , Shazwan and Engku Ehsan for coming up with the Malaysian Halloween costumes. Now let’s get cracking
Costume Idea #1
WHAT YOU NEED
1X Beret Hitam 1X Tobacco Pipe 1X Cermin mata 1X Jeket hitam 1X Jambang warna putih 1X Statutory Declaration 1X Waran Tangkap
Kalau kamu gemok atau agak chubby why don’t you dress up as Raja Petra Kamaruddin! He is one of the most famous Malaysian ever and it easily imitated with a costume. Kalau korang ada kawan yang pergi party dress up as a Pulis lagi best. Suruh dia gari korang masa pergi parti and the illusion is complete! Now that is 100X times more awesome dari dress up jadi Frankenstein or zombies!
WHAT YOU MUSN’T DO
Just to be on the safe side jangan terlalu depan Balai Polis. Mana la tau costume kamu terlalu real kamu lak kena sumbat masuk lokap. Esok keluar headline “RPK berjaya Diberkas” . HAGHAHAHAHAHA.
Costume Idea #2
WHAT YOU NEED
1X Songkok 1X Salinan medical check up dari PUSRAWI 1X Baju Melayu cokelat 1X Seluar slack hitam 1X Akuan bersumpah 1X Encylodpedia tebal (at least 400 muka surat)
Kalau kamu kurus dan agak jambu apa kata kamu dress up sebagai Saiful Bukhari! Encyclopedia tu kamu wrap up supaya nampak macam kitab. Takkan nak pergi parti bawak Al Quran kan? So kena la dress up encyclopedia tu sebagai substitute kepada kitab. Lagipun parti Halloween mesti ada arak and what shit. Kang rasa bersalah pulak masa meneguk vodka Smirnoff atau Carlsberg. Bonus points kalau kamu memang seorang gay! HAHAHAHA. Lagi best. Tiada ironi disini. A fag dressing up a guy who insisted that he is not gay but allegedly allowed a prominent politician to fuck his cornhole 3 times without much resistance. HA HA HA!
WHAT YOU MUSN’T DO
Walk into the club with 3 or 4 guys dress up as policemen. Nanti orang yang ada dalam parti ingat JAIS buat surprise alcohol raid pulak! OLOLOLOL. Sia sia sahaja effort kamu kalau clubbers meleis semua panic dan lari lintang pukang. Not cool dude!
Costume Idea #3
WHAT YOU NEED
Costume ni ada dua option. Dua-dua pun boleh
1X Complete 3 piece suit or 1X Baju melayu lengkap dengan songkok 1X Cermin mata
Boleh teka tak costume apa ni? Ini costume Pak Lah. Ini costume paling senang nak prepare. Tak payan keluarkan kos banyak. But you need to get it right. How? Bila pergi parti Halloween korang kena terus tidur atas sofa or cubicle dalam kelab. Sepanjang parti korang purak-purak tidur je. Kalau ada kawan tegur;
“Eh bro..... apahal lu tido dalam parti ni? minum-minum dulu sampai mabok barulah tidur”
Kamu kena pura-pura terkejut dari tidur dan terus jerit
“POLIS KATA JANGANNNNNNNNNNN!!”
Lepas tu tidur balik. Senang kan?
WHAT YOU MUSN'T DO
Jang terlalu menghayato kerekter. Kang tak dapat enjoice plak.
Now go. Jangan pergi parti Halloween pakai costume bosan lagi. Asik jadi Cleopatra lah, Spiderman lah........ please man be original for fuck sake
Ok guys. Time to share your own cool Halloween costume ideas! Comments below.
IDEAS CONCIEVED WHILE EATING MEGI GORENG AND WATCHING BOLA BY
Obefiend SYZWN Engku Hensem Ehsan
p/s : I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro.
