OBECOMIC #4 - Nujum Nostradamus ?
Friendster dibeli Syarikat Malaysia
p/s : You give Frost a message from me. You tell him it's open season on all suckheads.
Friday, December 11, 2009
p/s : You give Frost a message from me. You tell him it's open season on all suckheads.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Pak Hitam VS Pak Unta
Nigras vs Sand Nigras
If you read Harian Metrosextroll you will notice that they have been using the term PAK HITAM (Mr Blackie) as a substitute for blacks in their articles. The amount of vitriol towards Africans reached its peak when apparently Sudanese dude raped and killed his girlfriend's daughter. They have been cohabiting for a few months prior to this. The mother knew about the abuse but didn’t do anything to stop it. Maybe her pity for the kid was overridden by the nightly stabbing with Sudanese “snake”. As the story goes the mother is now the prosecution star witness. She went for a plea bargain and will not be facing the same charges as her boyfriend. How convenient ey? She knew about the abuse. Didn’t do shit about it and now she will be the witness that would jail the African’s black ass.
Then I also read about girls confessing their preference for Africans and Arabs instead of locals. In Mastika they interviewed some of these bimbos and they told them that it’s all about the cock and money. Apparently Africans are better in bed and the Arabs are better off financially. The girls even have the audacity to compare Malaysian men to these douchebags. First of all, Melei men is at a disadvantage;
If we have prior sexual experience you will say;
“Biasa la lelaki melayu.. Agama cetek.Asik nak seks je. Barang kecik tapi minum kopi tongkat Ali 8 gelas sehari”
But when we have little or no sexual prowess you compare us to nigras with coke bottle sized dicks. What is this shit man? Then you compare us to the rich sand niggers that came to our shores. These douchebags only came here to study because they are pretty much banned from Europe and Americas. Iranians use to send hundreds of their students there to learn from The Big Satan. When they came back the government expects the students to use the knowledge learned from the Satans to build their own nation. They hate the Satans so much but they still send their students to Hell. Now that they can’t get a visas post 911 they flooded our country with their doucheyness. I gotta tell ya. I met a lot of Persian douchebags here in Cyberjaya and they all look the same. Same hairy forearms, designer shades and wearing the same Ed Hardy t shirts. What is it with Iranians and their obsession to look like fucking douchebags? Do they have the same retardation as Jersey Shore Guidos?
How can bimbos expect us to compete with these rich oil money motherfuckers? A few years ago, I was woken up from my afternoon siesta when I heard screaming from the adjacent condo. When I looked out of my bedroom window, I saw everyone looking up. A girl was standing on the window ledge threatening to kill herself. She was screaming hysterically;
“He killed my baby......... he killed my baby!! BAWWWWWWWWWW!!”
She was then saved by the Bombas and days later I found out that she just got an abortion. She felt guilty for killing the baby. Her Iranian boyfriend paid for the abortion. Sheesh! That is weird. She felt guilty about an abortion but have no problem with having unprotected sex in the first place. She also has no problem with wanting to kill herself. I was hoping she would jump so I would no longer endure her annoying screaming. Attention whores. Real suicidal people would have jumped without making so much noise. She is clearly trying to be a drama queen. Typical bimbettes. Masa dengan balak happy gambar Facebook hugging baik punya cukup. Cinta pasai poket dia tebai. Batang pun tebai hang suka tala siang malam. La ni hang dah rabak kena tinggai teriak macam mampuih mak bapak. Go dai plis!
Also the Iranians and the Africans are the real mastermind behind using girls as drug mules. Remember Raja Munirah? I wrote about her last year. Her BF (one of many as the rumours went) was an Iranian douche. When she was owned by the Japanese customs he went back to Ayatollahland never to be seen again.
So back to the main point. Why aren’t the Iranians received the same amount of hate from the Melei dailies? Even TV shows such as 999 seems to paint the blacks as the enemy of the state now. No real demonization of the Persians yet. Everyone I know hated them just as much as they hated the Africans. No screw that. I knew quite a few cool Sudanese in college. They are much nicer than the Iranians. The Iranians thinks they are better than Malaysian and treats Malays like the Malays treat the non Malays (Oh SNAPPPPPPPPPP!!) . Is it because the Iranians spends more money per head than the Africans? Is it because we watched too many rap videos and have preconceived ideas that all blacks are evil whore fucking gangsta? Or is it because the Iranians are supposedly Muslims? So we as brothers must not condemn them too much. They are already vilified in Fox News and Hollywood movies. Must kesian their Xerxes ass is it?
So I am launching my own campaign. Kempen anti Pak Unta. I have no love for the descendants of Xerxes and their douchey way. As far as I am concerned they all can go die in a bottomless well somewhere in Sparta!
p/s : You have to understand, they're everywhere. Chances are you seen 'em yourself, and didn't know it. On the subway or in a bar.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Abang Angkat, Akak Angkat ,Adik Angkat
Angkat pegi mana bro?
Kes kereta menjunam macam filem Michael Bay di Kota Bharu haritu buat aku perasan satu benda. Yang bawak kereta ialah adik angkat kepada si peminjam kereta. Yep, kereta tu kereta pinjam dari kawan. Kereta turbo siap sports rim dan spoiler tuh. Tapi tayar semuanya botak. Kah kah Kah. Bodoh punya meleis. Banyak sangat drifting kot? Dekat Kota Bharu jalan tak sebok sangat so boleh drift sampai tayar botak macam kepala Zaibo. HAHAHAHAHA.
Anyway budak yang “menjunamkan” kereta tu baru 17 tahun. Abang angkat si peminjam kereta pulak umurnya 27 tahun. Sekali bersama dengan dia masa tu ialah adik si penjunam berumur 14 tahun. Aku aneh. Apasal tua sangat abang angkat dia ni? Ye ke abang angkat? Ke paedophile nak simpan awek muda tapi bertopengkan abang angkat je lebih? Masa gua kat sekolah dulu biasa la budak form 5 amik adik angkat. Kononnya nak jadi contoh dan rakan kounseling. Kalau keluar bandar belikan A&W Mozza Burger untuk adik angkat. Bila adik angkat demam dia belikan Panadol. Sanggup passing passing Panadol dekat dewan makan tunjuk dia concern (Padahal nak satu dewan makan nampak dia kononnnya caring nak mampos). Akak angkat pun ada gak. Selalunya budak batch yang hensem dan anak orang kaya banyak akak angkats. Same goes to adik angkat perempuan lah. Kalau cantik ada aje abang angkat. Kadang kala bertumbuk abang-abang pasal nak jadi the ONLY abang akak si awek cantik. Macam Highlander la pulak. In the end there could be only one!
Persoalannya kenapa nak lie to yourself? Kenapa struggle nak ngaku engkau hanya sekadar ANGKAT kepada someone. Kalau dalam benak hati yang tidak kudus tu memang dah pasang niat nak jadikan awek/balak ngaku aje la.
“Aku memang suka dengan Nik Shahidah.. tapi dia junior. Aku amik jadi adik angkat lah. At least boleh mendekati”
Makan bontot la weih! Apa ke sengal main angkat-angkat. Ini euphemism seksual mana lak ni? Angkat masuk bilik? Angkat ketika posisi seksual berdiri? Angkat kain masuk jari? Angkat baju seluk dada? Itu ke maksud tersirat “angkat” dalam abang/akak angkat. Coincidentally "angkat" ialah bahasa pasar untuk "beli". Bila beli barang dari taukeh cina mesti kita cakap;
"Gua mau angkat ini komputer liao. Berapa lu bole bagi boss!"
Jadi bolehlah aku assume yang abang dan adik angkat tak lebih dari hubungan jual beli. Lu beli gua hadiah gua akan layan lu sampai lu graduate.So takdelah lu lonely sangat pasal tak ada awek betul. Korang setuju?
Yang di angkat seperti aku cakap tadi semuanya yang hot stuff. Yang mengangkat pulak semuanya muka macam Latif Borgiba dan Rosnah Mat Aris. Mesti punya. Jangan tipu la. Aku yakin korang pun perasan. Paling butoh sekali bila artis Meleis angkat mengangkat antara satu sama lain;
“Hubungan saya dan Eizraz Fazrinaz Qistina tak lebih daripada hubungan seorang abang dan adik”
Eat shit faggots. Mungkin betul kot dia cakap macam hubungan abang dan adik. Tapi hubungan abang dan adik dikalangan rednecks. Dengan kata lain hubungan incest! HAHAHAHA.
Aku pernah nak kena angkat masa muda belia dulu. Zaman takde perot gendot dan masih kachak (gaya Sayuti eja kacak). Sekarang sudah gendots dan muka seperti Mat Over memang takde nak angkat aku lagi. Cuba la angkat. Patah pinggang je! Aku tua 7 tahun dari Mrs Weiland. Takdenye aku dengan dia buat those faggy angkat-angkat relationship. I like her she likes me. Terus jadi kapel. Senang setel ikhlas bermutu keunggulan.
Tapi aku salahkan yang diangkat jugak. Nak kata "sorry saya tak minat" kesian pulak tengok ada tenuk yang terkinja-kinja dengan kita ye tak? Bagi hadiah mahal masa birthday. Dapat makanan free bila dia outing. Bila dia habis SPM dia pass kat kita soalan SPM dia. Siap riben merah dan kad good luck untuk SPM tahun depan. Siapa nak tolak kan? Yang mengangkat pulak ambik this as a sign that dia still ada harapan nak ngorat yang diangkat.
“Oh minggu lepas Danial Ezran makan satu je kuih apam yang aku beli untuk dia. Minggu ni dia kata dia makan 5 bijik apam. Adakah dia semakin meminatiku?.. oh Danial Ezran ku!”
Padahal Danial Ezran mintak lebih pasal budak dorm mate dia dah menganjing every week asik makan sorang. So dia pun mintak apam lebih untuk dishare bersama rakan satu dorm. Makan free bersama-sama. Yang akak angkat pulak clueless dan masih mendamba cinta yang tak akan kunjung tiba. Kesian kena guna dengan yang diangkat. Agaknya yang menjadi pengangkat memang suka kena guna atau jenis yang easily manipulated. Dek kerana nak sangat bercinta dari orang kacak dan cantik sanggup perabis duit. Bila dah habis study apa pun tak dapat. Lebih-lebih pun posing lepas majlis graduasi sambil memegang bunga. Lepas tu cuci gambar layan jiwan sorang-sorang. Bodoh! HAHAHHAAH!
p/s : Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Got Boobs? Instant Hottie?
Boobs are like beer googles for ugly chicks?
I’m an ass and leg man. I like boobs too but to me boobs are extremely overrated. Sometimes men got blinded by those big hooters they fail to realise that the chick that they considers hot are actually not that hot.
Let’s do a rundown of supposedly hot babes in the entertainment business shall we. These pictures are edited so that their prized asset won’t be a distraction. Now men, be honest and tell me if these chicks still look hot without their humongous mammary glands
I personally think Blake Lively is unbelievably horse face. I think when Sarah Jessica Parker eventually retires Blake could take her place as the horse of Hollywoodland. HA HA.
So why the obsession with boobs? I remember my first encounter with a pair boobs. I was around 8-10 at the time. I was watching an Indon horror movie tape we found in my uncle’s room. The title was Pontianak Berdarah or something. Me and my cousins found it under his wardrobe while we were in my nenek’s house. So we loaded the tape into his tape machine. The movie started with a wedding scene. Judging by the costume it was a traditional Javanese wedding. After the akad nikah the scene moved to the bedroom. I was an innocent lad back then so we suspected nothing weird will happen. Next thing we knew the newlyweds are naked and I saw my first pair of boobies! They were perky and B cup. They are actually pretty cute I must say. Then the scene got fucked up. The husband was actually a black magic practitioner and he rips those cute boobs from his wife’s chest like Mortal Kombat. Blood were now gushing from what’s left of her boobs. We screamed because we never saw anything quite as WTF as that before. All the uncles and auntie came running to see what’s the big ruckus was all about. We pointed to the telly and were met with silence. HAHAHA.
Suffice to say my uncles no longer kept his VHS under the wardrobe after that and I was traumatised by boobs. LOL
So why am I not a boob man? As I said boobs are overrated. What really attracted me to girls are
- Husky voice
- Ass
“Bie.... your taste in women suck. She is ugly and manly.Now you make me feel like I am one of those sucky women!”
LOL. Then I have to pujuk her for 10 minutes or so. In case you are wondering Mrs Weiland voice is husky and sexy as hell. When we first got to know each other we talked through Yahoo Messenger. Then she called me one fine day and I knew then she is someone that I want to make babies with. You can tell a lot from the voice and how they speak to you. I can’t stand girls who speak manja-manja and talks like a baby
“Bibieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......... I missssssh u shangatttttttt”
My penis literally shrinks back into my nut sack each time I hear a girl speaks like that. Oh I dated a couple of those too. It didn’t last long thank god! I can’t imagine marrying someone who talks like that. Can you imagine all the inane conversation in between sex? HAHAHAHHA
As for the ass? I can’t explain this but I just love a good ass on a women. But I do remember asking my mom why when whistles when they saw a curvy women. If you watch 80’s Malay movies they must have at least one scene where the actor wolf whistles a female and then they make the body shape signal with their hands. My mom told me;
“Bila kamu dah besar kamu tau la nanti”
I dah besar now and still I have no answer why I like curvy women. They are just sexier I think. Speaking about no real logical answer, I often asked Mrs Weiland why she needs to go to 17 shoe shops to look or shoes and we ALWAYS end up at the first shop where she eventually tried the first shoe anyway! RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
So anyway most people think the obsession with boobs is the exclusive domain of the men. This is not true. I think women are equally obsessive with boobs. They stuff Kleenex inside their cup to make their boobs bigger. They wore tank tops to flaunt them. Even chicks with no boobs use the “Myspace Camera Angle (tm)” to fake their nonexistent cleavage. There are even videos on YouTube on how to create a fake cleavage using make up. From now on please stop accusing us men of being obsessive with boobs.
Oh....... just before we go. There is another reason why I don’t go out and look for girls with big boobs. If you marry a small boobed chick, you can always "enhance" her later. But if you marry someone with squeaky voice and no ass.......... there is no medical procedure to remedy this deficiency! LOL!
I love Mrs Weiland.........(ayat penyelamat just in case she rotan me again)
p/s : Hey, it's a start, right? The goal, of course, is to be like you - the Daywalker! You got the best of both worlds, don't you? All our strengths... none of our weaknesses.
PICTURE CREDITS
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Weekend Footie News
Chelsea crashed to Citeh
p/s : Maybe it's time we forgot about discretion. We should be ruling the humans, not running around making back ally treaties with them. For fucks sake, these people are our food, not our allies.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
Aku Kena Toyol ke?
X-Files Siul
Aku tulis entry ni selepas 2 jam mencari barang yang hilang dalam bilik. Benda yang aku perasan hilang pada mulanya ialajh kunci rumah. Aku nak pergi makan tapi tak jumpa kunci. Sekali dengan tu ialah kunci kereta. Godek punya godek tak jumpa. Aneh nak mampos. Lepas tu aku selongkar satu bilik. No joy.
Then aku perasan. Mana backpack aku? Backpack aku bukannya kecik tapi besar. Takkan boleh terselit mana-mana. Aku usha satu biliktapi tak jumpa. Then aku teringat. Dalam beg ade kamera dan camcorder. FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! Camne leh lesap lak ni.
For your information aku dalam bilik ni all the time. The only time aku keluar ialah untuk makan yang aku buat once a day pukul 2 pagi. Semalam before tido aku letak keys atas meja macam biasa. Backpack tu pulak memang setia bawah katil. Takkan dia boleh berjalan sendiri pulak?
Aku start rasa aneh pas tu aku cek everything. Wallet ok pulak. Takde apa yang lesap. Handphone pun ada. Cuma handphone Nokia aku yang dah rosak tu takde. Wadefak? Aku carik jugak.
Tau aku jumpa kat mana? Bilik sebelah. Housemate sebelah dah balik cuti 5 hari lepas. So takkan tetiba boleh muncul kat situ tanpa sebab? DEHELL!!
Seriously ini keanehan yang melampau. Pagar rumah aku semua padlocked. Rumet yang satu lagi cakap memang dia lock. Dia perasan balik semalam pun pintu locked. So what the hell lagi sekali. Mana pegi beg galas aku? Mana pegi kunci rumah and kunci kereta jugak. Nak tambah emosi skang aku lapar dan haus. Air takde makanan pun takde. Bizarro yang amat sangat ni. Pening kepala gua pikir the logical answer to this mystery. Macam cerita Mastika lak tiba-tiba
Setious shit aku tak tau apa nak cakap lagi. Ini memang keanehan tahap melampau. Bila pikir balik yang hilang benda beharga. Apa ke malang nasib aku ni?
p/s : Oh, he's a monster. Pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive. From a research point of view, Lecter is our most prized asset.
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