Miracles on Youtube? Or is it?

Sempena Hari Jumaat yang Mulia

I am a huge fan of Youtube. You can get any videos in the world in there. Lately I’ve been delving into paranormal stuffs because the usual stand up comic and PWND video just doesn’t amuse me anymore. While paranormal hopping I can’t help but find plenty of videos from Malaysia. Surprisingly most of these so called paranormal videos came from Malaysia and Indonesia.

From indo we get the now infamous “gentayangan” video series. Videos purporting that they manage to capture real evidence of ghost on video. The most infamous one is the video of a Pontianak by a banana tree. The camera then moved closer to capture the face of this so called Pontianak. I’ve seen a few of these paranormal creatures. And let me tell you one thing. What I saw defies the laws of physic and can be genuinely called paranormal. In the gentayangan tapes you can see how fake the ghost is. Firstly ghost are not physical being therefore they don’t cast or receive shadows. In the video close up you can see how the light from the camera cast shadow on the face of the Pontianak. Every time someone points out this in the comment section there will always be a smart ass who will say

“Engkau tak percaya agama ke? Benda ni semua ada dalam Al Quran”

Bwa ha ha!. This is why I hate Malays so much. When discussing paranormal bullshit they will always use ALLAH and Quran as their trump card (40 000HP, Immune to Logical Thinking for 34 turns and Infidel iron brand on each successful strike). All I did was point out the obvious fakery and they start calling me a murtad. Fucking hell man do you have a brain? Does your god gave your brain to think or is it just for show and as useful as the appendix? I’ve been getting this kind of attitude for years. When I told a friend that I am not scared of hantus and jembalangs they always told me that I was being boastful. In Malay culture telling someone you are not scared of “fine creature” (makhluk halus LOL) is wrong. How totally bullshit is that? First of all after experiencing loads of firsthand encounter I can safely say I know for a fact those “fine” fuckers exist. What I don’t believe in is being scared of them or slapping anything out of the norm as paranormal. It is just not that easy pal. There are things explainable by science and not really paranormal ok. This is another thing that pisses me off. When I say I’m not scared of makhluk halus they called me a boastful bastard. When I say I get the creepies with cockroaches they laugh at me. What did ghosts ever give to me? Skin rashes? Rabies? Hepatitis? Nope. But I know for a fact roaches can give you fatal food poisoning. So to be scared of roaches is more logical than the fear for hantus!

Another video that pisses me off in Youtube is the man fish video. In the video it was alleged that a man turned into a fish because he was a douche bag to his mom (actually banyak variasi. pengedar dadah la.. perogol la..whatever). The video is basically just a mud shark on a table and quranic verses dubbed over it.

“Masha ‘Allah look at his face this is truly a human cursed to be in fish form”
“O Allah please forgive this man”

Wow just because some quranic verses are dubbed over video does not mean the video is authentic. This video easily got about a million hits the first time it came out on Youtube. Are we just a gullible bunch, or is it because our faith is already bizarre as it is. So believing a man turning into fish isn’t that too far fetch. Upon seeing that video I was tempted to video tape a coke bottle and dub in some quranic verses before posting as “Coke bottle reading the Quran – 100% real Masha’ Allah”. I never found the time to do that but lo and behold a few months later I stumble upon this gem of video on Youtube

It’s the Quran reading sejadah video. Yes folks , a prayer mat that prays and reading the Quran at the same time. If you want to dupe people might as well make it over the top right? Let’s make the sejadah do two things at the same time. That will make it extra mukjizat! Again you can clearly see the audio is dubbed over in post production. If the sejadah really is reading the Quran why does the audio level remain consistent throughout the video? For a crowded room there was almost no ambient audio at all which is nigh impossible .Try recording yourself in a room and you will realise there are loads of ambient noise even when you are alone. That’s why the clear al Quran audio in that video is full of bullshit. No way in hell this could happen

“But brother this is Allah’s miracle”

Yeah a miracle that too many of my Muslim brothers and sisters are easily duped by some cheapo trick done in Adobe Premiere. It’s also a miracle that alternate theories for the video are quickly hacked down as “the theories of the unbelievers”

Muslims always bragged about how superior their religion is compared to others. Saying Jesus as the son of god is impossible. Buddha is a loon because he is just a man who sits under a tree (if it is the modern time Buddha would have been dragged to a homeless shelter by the Jabatan Kebajikan). Elephants as gods? Don’t make me laugh we kill them to near extinction! Surely these people/animal can’t be god. That is the most common thing I hear from the ustazs and ustazah way back in sekolah ugama. But some of us are basically doing the same shit by proclaiming the videos above as proof that Allah is great. It boggles the mind why we Muslim need proof all the time to justify Allah’s greatness. Why do we need them? Maybe because most of you guys don’t actually believe in Allah that much in the first place. Thus the need for constant reinforcement of faith through “miracles” no matter how stupid the “miracles” are. Isn’t our daily existence itself a good enough proof that Allah is great. Must a supernatural event occur first before we start believing in his might and glory? Just like what happened in the mid 90’s and the infamous “scary animated cloud formation over KL”. What? You don’t remember that incident? Tune in next time and I will tell you all about it!

By next time I mean the next time I feel like typing it. This ain’t a sequential blog my friend! HA HA