Sufiah Yusof - World's Brainiest Prostitute

OK I’m a knob!

Let me just make a huge announcement now. I am a huge knob. Just ask my “wife”. She knows all about my knobbiness. Oi Oi! Not that knob la your dirty sewer minded cretin! Knob as in being total ass of a man. That knob not THAT knob ok! Get your UK lingo up to scratch please people!

So why am I a knob? Well today I checked my Yahoo Messenger messages. I left the PC and YM on when I left for home. While I was away I might as well torrent some movies yes? Why waste the bandwidth when you can download illegal stuffs. Back to the story shall we.So I checked out the message from Vivre and found a link to this a story regarding Sufiah Yusof.The same Sufiah Yusof who was taunted as a math prodigy nearly a decade ago. At the age of 13, little Sufiah entered Oxford to pursue a degree in math.At the time she was the youngest student to read math in the United Kingdom. Malays in Malaysia went wild since her mom is a Malaysian Malay. I believe MARA gave her a schlarship while she was there.

Anyways In that link I saw some saucy pictures of Sufiah. She is now a 130 quid a night hooker in Manchester. Going by the new name of Shilpa Lee,she is a far cry from the innocent jumper wearing kid we saw a decade ago. I should have been appalled by her career decision but the first thing that came out of my mouth was,

“Damn…that is one fine looking nerd. I let her dy/dx my body anyday. Who knows, I might get a Tangent 90 erection (just so you know Tan 90 = infinate)… Ka-Ching!!”

See I told you I am a huge knob. But that was my first reaction upon reading the article. I guess once a lad always a lad. I would like to apologise to my long suffering Cleo for having to put up with my laddishness.I can see her eyes rolling as she reads this. But to all the lads out there. Don’t tell me you honestly gasp and shaked your head when reading that article. Most of the heterosexual lads out there might be thinking the same thing as me when they saw her nicely formed bosoms. We all know how nice those Malay Pakistani girls can be yes? ZA ZING!

Ok seriously now. Earlier this year I wrote a piece regarding Adi Putra. The Malaysian child genius who thinks he is a Ferrari (hopefully not the next Malaysian most brilliant penebar roti canai). I wrote about how the burden of expectation may end up destroying him before he even enters adulthood. I now fear for Adi Putra’s future as he, just as Sufiah was put under a lot of stress at such an early age. Sufiah entered college at 13. Dropped out at 15. Married at 19 and divorced just a year later. At 23 she is paying her tuition fees by selling her body. What an eventful decade for her.Adi Putra entered college at the tender age of 7. What would happen in a decade? Watch this space ladies and gents. If Blogger and I are still alive in 2018 I will surely revisit this topic.

Oh and by the way,do you know that Asia Carrera is the world Brainiest Pornstar? She is a member of MENSA with a tested IQ of 156. She is a piano prodigy who performed at the Carnegie Hall twice before the age of 16. Taught English in Japan by 17.She did her first porn at 23 ( is 23 is threshold limit before going batshit for child prodigies?) and later became one of the world's most famous porn star. Her SAT score is 1440.Asia is a double major degree holder in Business and Japanese. Impressive huh? Just some stuff I dug up while writing this. NOT that I am a huge porn fan or anything!

What a difference a decade makes?

The way I see it, Sufiah’s prostitution career is her way of saying “Screw You Daddy!” So why did she turned into prostitution? Well I think she did all to get even. Her dad was convicted of molesting two 15 year olds that he was tutoring. By letting older men (she did mention her love of older men) molest her she is just rubbing salt into her father’s wound. When she wore the hijab a few years ago she did it to spite her secular parents. Both of these actions are classic examples of teenage angst. I think we all did it yes? . Doing things against our parent’s wishes. Since Sufiah never really had a normal childhood and teenage years she is making for lost time by doing it now in her mid twenties.Better late than never eh Sufiah? Just get it out of your system.

Will this last? To be honest this might just be a “phase”. I kept my hair long and listen to gangsta rap during my rebellious phase. That was as extreme as i can go.Definately my extreme is peanuts compared to her extreme.She had sex with older men for money. She must have some serious issues with her dad. I wonder if she was sexually assaulted as a child too. Any guy who picked up “Psychology for Dummies” can tell you a large percentage of strippers, prostitutes and porn stars were abused as a child. So the authorities in England should sit down with her and ask her the difficult question, “Were you sexually assaulted as a child?” I bet my bottom dollar that she was.

So to end this knob (and largely incoherent) entry I will like to end it with a tasteless joke.

“ Sufiah was a math genius who can solve the complex equation in her sleep. But lately she found out that by sleeping with men she can make $130 instanteneously! Best equation ever!”

Hahaha. Not funny! Now go kill yourself Effi.

p/s: Masa balik cuti last weekend. Adik aku suruh aku ajar statistics! HAHA. I can’t do it. So this week I need to brush up on that so I can tutor her. I realised that my ADD MATH proficiency now is only good up to form 4. Even doing “completion of square” method to solve an equation took me half an hour . Not only am I a knob. I can’t even do simple form 5 math! How the hell did I get that A fro A Level math? Must be a fluke!

p/p/s: Sorry for the disjointed entry. Just got back from Kepong around 7.30 this morning. Wrote this down after a few hours of business class! Will do better tomorrow!